I'm a Good Person, I Swear.

There is a running joke in my family when it comes to my dad. Anytime my mom cooks for him, she will ask him, "How is it?" His reponse is always the same. "Not bad" he replies, as he eats away at the food my mom made him. We always laugh because we are all thinking the same thing, which is, what kind of answer is that? Of course, his response is harmless and is something we all can chuckle over, but in and of itself, it shows a disposition. It shows that the standard for satisfaction only needs to be "not bad" to be good.

I think about this concept when it comes to other things in life. Where do I look to measure a standard to determine whether or not I am doing good enough? Most of the time it is in relationships, including the one with myself. I use to think that I was a "good person" by the standard of "not being so bad." I didn't troll people on the internet, curse others out who cut me off on the road or intentionally bring harm to those around me. When I look back at the defining line of what it meant to be a good person, I saw that the standard was very low, thus allowing me to internalize the thought that I was doing pretty good when it came to being a "good person." I don't believe I was incorrect to think that, but my standard of "not bad" would ultimately lead me to experience a limited scope of my potential to love and connect with others.

As I began to develop my faith I learned how to surrender (multiple times) to the will of God over my own. I began to see and understand what it meant to be a good person from a biblical standpoint. The definitions were clear. The standards were high. In fact, so high that no one outside of Jesus was able to fulfill the definition of a "perfect" person. It was convicting. I found myself leveling up mentally and spiritually as I pressed forward to read and listen to those who were more educated and experienced in their own faith journey. I learned that perfection is the standard, but humility is what defines us. It is in knowing we could never be perfect and even at our best, we still have room to grow when what we are aiming for is a limitless type of love. Our path towards our highest potential requires us to strive for the best version available, but we also hold the other truth of our existence, the truth that we are limited by our own self-serving disposition.

So what makes us good, aka moral, people according to the Bible? According to Matthew 22:37-40 (NIV): "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and foundational commandment. And the second is: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." These markers of success for being a good person is impossible to do alone. It is a team effort. We have to have a relationship with God to understand what it is like to be loved before we can ever truly love someone else. The deeper the connection to God, just like a best friend where you can share anything with, allows you to experience love without limitations. It is through that experience of being loved where we are in overflow of that love. Loving others becomes the only possibility available when we interact with others because of the abundance of it within us.

I thought I knew how to love others before I knew God. I was thoughtful and made an effort to be there for others through listening and showing up to support them. I would try to do nice things like surprise them with intentional gifts or check in on them through texts and phone calls. All the actions were exactly what a "good person" would do. If someone were to look at my actions, they would say I was doing a pretty good job at being a good person. However, the standard of what others think does not compare to what God thinks. If you were to ask God how He would judge my human, He would say, "Not bad, but not good."

After deeping my relationship with God and seeing the wonders in my own life, I understood the differences of what a human definition and a divine definition of what a good person meant. I saw that the divine definition focused on the root of the issue - feeling loved, seen and known. The human definition was more focused on the fruit of the issue - the actions of what love looks like (initiating a meal train for someone who just had a baby, checking in on a friend who has been feeling sad, or surprising someone with a thoughtful gift). The fruits are endless in terms of expression. But what we really need is at the core of what we all seek - love, acceptance, and connection. Ultimately, God is the source of what we all need and the people around us are the vessels He uses to show that love.

Being a good person is something we all hope to leave as our legacy to the people we meet and to our friends and family. We hope to be people that contribute to the world instead of taking from it. We hope to be a solution and not the problem. We strive to make a positive impact to our communities. Being a good human is what we all aspire to be, and for those who are parents, encourage our children to become. Faith is not a religion when it comes to knowing God. Faith is a state of being; one of trust, surrender, and pure. Religion is a state of doing; action, rituals and tradition. Both are a process. It is in understanding the duality of how the two intertwine and collaborate together where we can truly see the power and glory of what God has intended for us to experience in our humanity.

In the debut book of The Starting Point, the topic of love and developing a connection to the divine nature of God is discussed. This book is written for anyone looking to learn about how to develop a relationship with God and learning what a life of faith looks and feels like.

Purposeful Practices:

1. How do you define what it means to be a good person? Write a list of everything that comes to mind and circle your top 5 definitions.

2. Looking at the root of being a "good person", write down 3 ways you exhibit characteristic traits that demonstrate love, acceptance and connection.

3. Are there any people in your life that you consider a good person? What is it about them that makes you think that? What do you admire about their characteristic traits? Do you see those same traits exhibited within yourself currently or do you aspire to be more like them?