Good-Anything, Great-Something

At the core of our human experience, relationships become the center of how we understand who we are and how we show up in the world. The relationships that we have with our parents, our family, friends, co-workers, strangers, lovers and most importantly, in our relationship with God, guide us to see ourselves in a way we are blind to without them. Even in the relationship we have with ourselves, we access feedback that allows us to grow and have more self-awareness - a key element for personal growth.

Relationships are everything. If they define who we are in how we show up in them, then a question to think about is: what do they say about us? Who are we to our friends? Who are we to our family? Who are we to God?

I can only speak about myself, but for a long time, I would think I was being a "good-anything"- daughter, sister, friend, co-worker...you name it. The capacity of what I understood was limited to my own personal experience and knowledge of what defined a good-anything. However, I was never great. I could never be great because I didn't know what great entailed. I didn't have access to it nor did I experience it for myself in the relationships I had with others.

However, God showed me what great looked like when I pursued the truth during my personal one-year journey of improving my health and wellness. I did not actively seek a relationship with God or faith for that matter, but it was through, and only through my struggles, that God showed up for me in a real and powerful way. He showed me that He was my ride-or-die and it changed how I saw and valued Him. In the same way that the people in your life who show up when things are hard, messy, or just totally devastating is what shows you who your true friends are. God did that for me and so much more. He was the only one there when I was alone with my stress. He lifted me up when I was completely down on my knees in defeat. He encouraged me in moments where I needed an extra hand. He was there for me whether I asked for help or not and when it seemed like no one else could hold the weight of my issues and burdens. God not only was a ride-or-die type of friend, he became my best friend. Best friends are rare, so when you have one, you hold on tight.

All I wanted was to spend time with my new best friend after coming to faith. I saw that I wanted to be close to God, not because He could give me things or connect me to the right network, but because I just felt safe, seen and heard when I spent time with Him. To experience intimacy, a deep closeness, in a relationship is all we seek for. To have that with the Creator only shows us what is possible with those around us. The definition of being a good-anything turns into being a great-something when God is involved.

I learned that being a great-something meant I took initiative to support, encourage and lift up another despite what they could do for me. Being a great-something made me become intentional in how I spoke to and about others. It showed me the power of forgiveness, love and patience in the relationships I had and it gifted me the ability to see, respect, and honor others in a way I hadn't before. Being a great-something meant being a person of my word. Following through and being dependable took me from being good to being great. There is nothing more powerful than keeping your word to others. Being a great-something meant sacrificing my own needs to prioritize the well-being of another. It was not in a people-pleasing type of way, but a posture of gratitude. Expectations were off the table and the only thing that could exist was genuine appreciation for any opportunity to connect with another person.

Being in a relationship, with anyone or with God for that matter, has little to do with having the most, but being the most - the most loving, the most uplifting, and the most giving. It is about being available, being intentional and loving on them in a way that shows how grateful you are to them. It rarely has anything to do with you; however, it is through that relationship where YOU become revealed in ways that are only possible because of being involved with another person. Relationships that thrive and are the healthiest are not rooted in demands and conditions, but in genuine reverence and investment with one another.

In the debut book of The Starting Point, the topic of relationships is discussed and how through a relationship with God, the power of becoming more aligned to your purpose is expressed through the closeness that is shared in one's faith.

Purposeful Practices:

1. Being a good-anything and transforming into a great-something requires a choice to level up our ability to be a better person in the relationships we share with others. Who do you look up to that show you areas where you can go and grow from good to great? What is it about them that you admire that makes you want to incorporate that into your way of relating to other people?

2. How do you know when someone is a genuine friend or a person that is fun to be around? What is the line that allows you to know that someone is a trusted, ride-or-die type of person in your life?

3. What have you learned about yourself through the relationships you have shared with your friends, your family and even with people who dislike you? What has God shown you about yourself that has impacted your ability to relate to others?